the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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