goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize