isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
