We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
