she was so not down for the gang bang
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's blow job season.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
