No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
