is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
