I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
