If you die in college, do you die in real life?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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