you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
