I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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