I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
