The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
