So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
