I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
