I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize