Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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