what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
