Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
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