I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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