What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize