I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
