I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Randomize