C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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