you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
