She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
