he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
