Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
