please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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