So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
