farters have to be the big spoon...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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