Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize