Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
