I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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