having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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