i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
