well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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