Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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