and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
