Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
birth control should be required to get into college
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
