we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
