Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
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I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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