he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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