I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
vagina is talking i cant
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
