xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In other news, I just burned my penis
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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