I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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