I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
