DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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