oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
