pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
