Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
