this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize