Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
