You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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