found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
