it wasn't lemon gatorade
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
