hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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