My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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