today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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