why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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