mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
