watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize