I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
