is your mom at the bar?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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