Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize