Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
