she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
