I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
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I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
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Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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