I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
