another moral hangover. fuck.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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