Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
